Why is it that these indispensible conferences that state employees are always jetting to never take place in cities such as Duluth, Minn., in January or Gary, Ind., anytime?

 

That's what some North Carolinians are wondering upon learning that 16 state-employed child care consultants are going to San Diego for a conference on toddler and infant care. In January. They're using federal stimulus money to pay for that trip and a second one in July.

 

Considering all of the horrible things happening to children in North Carolina - in the past week, we've read of a 10-month-old who died in her stepfather's custody after allegedly being raped, a 5-year-old abducted from her home, two young siblings killed in a house fire while their parents were away - the need for more and better training of parents and educators is indisputable. Few of us would begrudge them a trip to paradise if we thought it would help children.

 

But it won't. That $140,000 slice of the federal stimulus pie could be far better spent.

 

Parents across the state are struggling to afford child care. The N&O reported last week that budget cuts have left the state with $35 million less for child care subsidies than expected. So here's a question whoever approved the San Diego junket should answer: What does it profit a state to get employees all this wonderful training - and great tans - if families can't afford day care?

 

If what's being taught in San Diego is so important, why not send one or two employees and make 'em take copious notes to share with colleagues when they return?

 

If you've ever been to San Diego, you know why not.

 

The San Diego Convention & Visitors Bureau lists the city as one of the nation's top five leisure vacation destinations - especially in January, I'll bet- and a top convention city.

 

Coincidence? Sure.

 

I once spent a week in San Diego - hitting all the discotheques, shopping outlets and bars (oops, make that "libraries") - and found the place to be just this side of paradise. The weather for the entire seven days was idyllic: high temperatures of 76, the low 67.

 

How do you know when you've had a good time, even though you were covering the Republican National Convention?

 

Why, when you're driving to the airport singing that old spiritual "Lord, I've had my fun if I don't never get well no mo'" and you find yourself praying that you miss your flight, that's how.

 

Since it's unlikely the state will cancel the trip now - to do so would be an admission that it was a bad idea - there are ways to ensure that we taxpayers get our money's worth from the 16 employees who'll be sunning themselves at our expense. First, the state could make them check in hourly. If that doesn't work, how about making each of them wear one of those electronic monitors that'll go "beep beep beep" any time they get near the ocean, the exquisite restaurant Humphreys By the Bay or a hootchy-kootchy dancer wearing piña colada body lotion?

 

If none of those ideas work, they could send me. I'll do a bed check every night - before hitting the libraries.